Once Upon A Time in a Library Bathroom

If you’re a Goldsmiths student, it’s highly likely you will have heard about the anonymous confessions page Crushsmiths.

Their Facebook page reads: “Send us a message and we’ll profess your fondness and obsessive infatuations so you don’t have to xxx”

Although mostly about horny students, Crushsmiths is a place for every student. While topics range from in-depth discussions about left-wing politics to fiery debates on which chicken shop is best, there is one thing that people keep posting about: people having sex in the library.

Every couple of weeks or so, a post will appear, saying something along the lines of “OMG, people are having sex in the toilets!”. These posts seem to get significantly more reactions from the page’s readers than other posts.

Students’ reactions are mixed – when asked if they know about it, around half are nonchalant, while the rest stand there shocked for a few seconds before silently vowing never to use the library toilets again.

To the couple fucking in the downstairs library toilets yesterday… threesome in RHB?” 

Crushsmiths, Facebook

One man posted on the site: “I knock on the door and I hear the sounds of panicked buckling. DIRTY B******* WERE F****** IN THE [LIBRARY] TOILET. THE GIRL GETS ALL MAD AT ME [FOR] INTERRUPTING. I just reply with the fact they were interrupting my shit… wtf, this is rank. some people have to do their ket off those toilets!”

As astounding as this may seem, this is not an unusual occurrence. The Edinburgh Tab reported on a couple passing out “mid-shag” in a university toilet, which they assumed to be after a late study session. There are even some listicles on where to have sex on campus. One, by Elite Daily, even includes some shocking examples like “the religious center” or “the dorm laundry room”.

However, campus sex does not just happen in the library. One anonymous student tells us they’ve had three sexual encounters on campus, all of which were in toilets, but only one of which was in the library (specifically, in the archives and the upstairs toilets).

Grinning but embarrassed, the anonymous student said: “So I’m in the library a lot, so I know when it gets quiet. I’ve always fantasised too, so when I saw a cute [person] I’d just imagine if we were in that corner. I had already [it] planned out for whenever it would happen beforehand.”

They continued on, saying how they had thoroughly thought about where they could have sex all over campus. While they were embarrassed when talking about it, they told us they hadn’t thought twice about it at the time.

“Everyone does it.” they said.

CREDITS: Grace Higgins

Thankfully, for those who want to have not only a safe but a free shag in the library, Goldsmiths Student Union has signed up to the “Come Correct Scheme”. The scheme lets people under 25 receive “free condoms, dams [a thin, flexible piece of latex that protects against direct mouth-to-genital or mouth-to-anus contact during oral sex], lube and sexual health advice”, according to Goldsmiths Student Union’s website.

Goldsmiths Library did not respond when we reached out to them.

Featured image credit: Grace Higgins